Though I actually should be studying, I really felt the urge to share one story. After my first post, I got so many positive reactions and some great feedback. Of course I really appreciate all of it, but there was one reaction in particular I wanted to write about. I have this friend, who I think is pretty awesome. Always doing exactly what he wants, letting nothing get in his way. It's very inspiring! I don't think he knows, but in a twisted way he really motivates me to reach for my goals and make my dreams a reality. How great is that?! Everything he does is extreme and big, brilliant and expensive. Don’t bother telling him he can't or won’t make it. He'll prove you otherwise. Every. Single. Time. So far at least. I told him about my blog and that he had read it of course, because I’m all cool like that now. Well, actually, I wanted him to read it because he can be quite critical. He told me he liked it, but that my opinion about the importance of balance does not apply to him. …Wait. What?! Actually, it was not that big of surprise hearing that from him. Obviously I didn't agree, but I couldn't prove my point right away. He has this annoying ability to really make you question what you believe! So, instead of starting a huge discussion, which I probably wouldn’t win at that exact moment anyways, I decided to think about it. ;)
Being the good psychology-student that I am, I asked him why he felt that way. He said that he only lives by extremes. “And that being extreme is the opposite of being balanced”. Right?
WRONG! Well, at least in my opinion. I have my own little theory of the meaning of “balance”. And in my theory balance applies to EVERYBODY. My fiend’s comment made me realize that the whole concept of balance needs to be clarified. Immediately. So, here it goes!
I believe that “balance” is... happiness. I explicitly use this term, because happiness is something absolutely personal. Everyone can find their happiness in their own unique way. Each individual had their own definition of what happiness means. To some it’s money, fame, family, food, a job, a child, a pet... oh for all I care could be smell of roses. My point is that it’s personal. Just like balance. It doesn't matter whether you live by the rules or on the edge, as long as there is some kind of counterweight. So being balanced equals being happy, and vice versa. I also believe there are different degrees of happiness, but that it always starts and ends with love. There, I said it. The infamous four-letter word: LOVE. L-O-V-E.
Lets think about it. Picture this: you have absolutely nothing. You are a lost and lonely soul. All alone, in the world. And sad (but not starving so you’re not thinking about food or water). I think all you want at that moment is company. You want someone around. Someone that cares about you and that you can care about. Somebody who makes sticking around worth while. Life is just better that way, let’s face it.
Now (stick with me a little while longer) you’re not completely alone anymore. You have friends and family. You want more, the material stuff basically. Education, the dream-job, -house, -cars, the big title. Money! We all want money, never having enough, always wanting more. Right?
Okay, last step.
After working your butt off for countless years, you finally have all the money in the world. You can do whatever you want, there are no limits anymore. Still not happy, right? I think you already know what’s missing… It’s love. You’d give anything for some real, authentic, good old love. Just like when you had absolutely nothing. So this is what I mean with the degrees of happiness. Right now we could be pretty happy and most days we probably are. But being merely human, we always want more. We think we can always become happier. To make this whole story a little bit more philosophical: We have the tendency to think the grass is always greener on the other side.
Now this is where balance comes in. I believe you’ve reached that peak of absolutely happiness, once you lose that unsatisfied feeling. The moment you realise it’s enough, right now. This doesn’t mean you can’t be balanced if you still have dreams or goals and the desire to work hard for them. My point is that the counterweight of all your desires is being able to appreciate what you have right now. Love every single thing you have. Be grateful for what you already have and even more grateful for everything that could still happen.
I know this sounds a little confusing, but just think about it! You're balanced once you realise the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Both sides are just as green. This doesn’t mean you should stop caring for it. It still needs water and soil and stuff. You can even pimp it up with some flower. Or a tree. Or a FOREST for those who want to be extreme!!! ;)
So to sum it all up: to me balance is once you realise you’re allowed and are able to accept yourself and everything you’ve got this very moment. For me personally, this is where yoga comes in pretty darn handy. All forms of yoga evolve around balance. It doesn’t matter whether you practice a super intense version, like Bikram-yoga, or a calmer version, like Hatha-yoga. In all the different types of yoga, it’s about finding balance within you, mentally and physically. If you're not balanced in a pose, you'll notice it immediately because you fall down. It's that simple!! While practicing yoga, you learn to become balanced. Getting there isn’t always easy, but it’s possible. And absolutely worth it!
The good news is that if you try, and practice, you can become more balanced. We all have moments when we are truly happy. Can you think of the last time that was? Were you with someone? It could be with a friend, a family member or a significant other. I bet you, you were! (At least I was!). I think that in these moments it becomes clear to us that we only have one true desire, which is to love and being loved in return. Now those are moments of complete balance. Happiness at it's best.
Want more of those moments? Guess what!? You can! By practicing to become more appreciative! In anyway that works for you. Challenge yourself and be proud of what you accomplish. It could be trough art, dance, music, sports or maybe even by giving yoga a try. I think it should be relaxing, being able to put your mind at ease. I bet you'll notice that once you’re balanced, all your goals and dreams are within your reach!
Now back to my friend. I would say that he the concept of balance does apply to him. And he has it too, though not yet as perfect as he would like it to be. I bet he has those happy moments when he’s sharing his success with family and friends. And I am pretty sure he wants more happy moments, just like the rest of us.
I think it all comes down to love. Love for yourself, love for others, love for the world.
Okay, now I sound like a hippy. So ehm... PEACE! ^^
That was my little balance-theory. Hope you'll find your balance. I know you can :)
Stacey
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