When life gives me lemons, I hit the mat.

This weekend I learned a valuable lesson: always stick to your personal believes of what is right and wrong. I know that this can be really hard sometimes, especially when you’re in vulnerable and confusing position. Like many others, I had to learn the hard way.

Life can be hard. I guess this is not big news to anyone really but I just got hit in the face with it last weekend. The thing is I’m the kind of girl that always longs for everyone to be happy. Always trying to satisfy everyone, living up to the demands of life, the expectations of others, making sure the entire world is content.

Fact: I am a people pleaser.

This blog was particularly hard to write. I’ve been sitting at my desk for hours now and I still don’t know what I’m trying to say. This has been a very confusing couple of weeks (okay fine, months, years even). Despite all my trying avoiding the bad and finding my balance, some things just didn’t feel right.

I keep telling everyone around me that you should be honest and true to yourself. I mean, life is too short to play pretend right? The fact of the matter is that I haven’t been practicing what I preach. I created my own little secret life, and I started to believe in it. The reason I believed in it was because it just kind of happened at time when I was completely off balance. It was the only thing I felt I had left to hold on too. Once everything around me started to get better I guess I was afraid to let it go. So, even though I knew I really was wasting my time, investing all of my valuable time and energy in something that didn’t exist I kept doing it. It felt like defending a bad relationship: hoping you're wrong about it, and every time something happens that tells you its no good, you ignore it. And every time something comes through and surprises you, the lie wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself.

I’ve been able to keep this secret to myself for a very long time now. But as we all know, truth will come to light eventually. And once it does, you’re just silly if you keep pretending. In yoga there are these 10 commandments that can help guide your life. It consists of five Yamas (don’ts) and five Niyamas (dos). Yama means self-restraint and Niyama means observance. Living by these ten commandments will lead to self-realization and liberation. It’s important to remember that the purpose is to aspire to live by these commandments. I mean, we’re merely human. We should remember these “rules” and really try to live by them. Today I looked up these ten commandments again and I can proudly say that I’ve been living by all them accept for one: Satya, meaning truthfulness and honesty. Figures huh? Luckily I’m smart enough to realize this, and starting today, finally do something about it.

One thing that I am sure of is that I’m on the right path. It’s time for me to move on, let go of things that aren’t worth investing my time in. Though it feels as if I’m being punished for doing the right thing, I realized that my idea of what was right is actually wrong. Using my good heart to defend the bad is useless. I think I’m not even scared anymore of what will happen to me if I let go. I know that my heart always was, is and always be in the right place.  

Be sensible, follow your intuition and always follow your heart. And now it’s time for yoga.

Stacey

More candles and salsa...

It’s incredible how fast time goes by when you’re extremely busy. It’s already week 3 of January and it feels like it was yesterday that I was standing outside in the cold admiring the firework’s in Amsterdam… Looking back on 2010, I came up with a few new years resolutions that I’ve been able to keep so far!

Resolution number one: more yoga (duh!) and MEDITATION. Yoga is something I introduced myself to and fell in love with the past year. I feel it’s time to take our relationship to the next level by introducing meditation!. At first I thought meditating isn’t necessary for practicing yoga but I’ve come to realize that meditation completes it. To me, it feels like it’s the missing puzzle piece.

I read about meditation in the wonderful book (almost) everybody knows: 'Eat Pray Love’. When she just arrived at the Ashram in India, Liz describes how incredibly difficult it is; her thoughts constantly taking control. That is the stage I am in right now and I can tell you that it feels absolutely IMPOSSIBLE. Sometimes I wonder why I’m making my life harder then it already is. But I just keep telling my self this will be good for the long run.

At my first yoga class this year I learned a certain kind of meditating that I think is pretty easy though! The trick: looking at a candle, lit up of course. This way it feels like you’re actually doing something, not just sitting there with your eyes close looking like a complete idiot. You have and object to focus your attention on besides your annoying thoughts! It makes the whole practice a little bit easier.

Another thing to consider is that you shouldn’t make it a battle between you and your thoughts. The trick is to let them in, but also show them the door. I know I know, this sounds silly, but suppression really doesn’t help!! It even has this nasty habit to backfire on you. Don’t believe me? Well then, try this: Once upon a time there was a White bear. The End.

Now I’ll give you this assignment: DO NOT think about white bear while reading this blog. I can guarantee you’ll fail! Psychology proved it ;). Experimenters gave people this assignment and everybody reported that it they weren’t able to do it! Every time they realized they weren’t thinking about the white bear anymore, they were thinking about it again… 


My point is that it makes sense that there is no use in fighting against your thoughts while trying to meditate. Embrace them, let them in, and then out. Focus on your breath and on the pretty candlelight! The trick is to do this actively. When meditating with a candle this is what you should do:

1. Light a candle

2. Sit comfortably in front of the candle

3. Focus on the entire space that is lit by the candle

4. Focus on the entire candle

5. Focus only on the fire, the colour, the shape, the way it moves etc.

6. When you feel ready, close your eyes and breathe.

Try staying in steps 3-6 for a few minutes each (you’re allowed to decide yourself!). I promise you you’ll feel completely relaxed afterwards! Pretty darn easy right??  ;)

Okay, enough about meditation for today. Moving on to my second resolution: MORE SALSA dancing!!!! Oh my passion for salsa… How I miss you. But I promise, this year we’ll have more intimate moments. Starting this Friday! Can’t wait!!!

Resolution number three: Less studying. Yeah right… haha I wrote down these resolutions on a piece of paper once. But I have to say that I failed with this one already. I’m just too big of a nerd to study less. I want good grades. Guess it’s not that bad of habit, right? ;) You remember all those exams I had the last couple of weeks, tight?? I nailed them ALL, thanks to being the nerd that I am. And I guess I just like keep it that way!

Number four is one I am defiantly sticking with: Continue writing this blog!! I promise, my dear followers to have a new story waiting to be read every single week. I want to finish writing that book one day you know ;)

Well that’s that for my New Year resolutions!  Are you still sticking to yours??

Stacey